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Recovery And Emotional Disorders

I arrived here with PTSD, which hadn't been coined as a diagnosis yet, and worked the Steps to the very best of my ability. Despite the chronic emotional discomfort I experienced, I still grew spiritual and became "a responsible, productive member of society."

Then in 1994-5, I suffered two extremely painful near-death experiences, one of which a near plane crash that had everyone aboard -- including the flight attendants -- convinced we were goners. Consequently, my condition got acutely worse. I could no longer work and had an extremely difficult time concentrating at meetings. Nightmares were a daily occurrence -- as they remain to be.

But that wasn't half as bad as the complete lack of support I got from many of very people who were there for me for the previous 15 years, and I really began to feel aliente3d. So I became completely disillusioned about recovery and God, deciding to leave the fellowship altogether!

Three years later, I relapsed, and it has taken me 11 years to sustain solid recovery for what will be a year on April 20. I have back in the program now. I made one vein attempt after five years, but -- again -- received rejection about the PTSD. This was before the war in Iraq began and my diagnosis became more publicized.

What hurt most was how some of the old timers who I came into recovery treated me like a leper. That's right: they made it sound as if I was a disgrace to NA. One member even told me,"My sponsor said I should stay away from you." So I went back out again.

But when I came back last April, I made it a point to attend meetings where I didn't know any of the people and was treated with the utmost of respect, just as every member should be -- regardless! And it was the unconditional love and acceptance I received, and still do, that has gotten me back on the right track and has kept me there. I even found a sponsor who shares my condition.

But please don't misunderstand me; I'm not blaming anyone for my relapse. I made the choice to cut 12-Step recovery out of my life,and I payed the price -- big-time! No doubt, there were other solutions for me; I just wasn't aware of them at the time, nor did I do my homework.

The whole point I'm trying to emphasize here is how vastly important it is to support an NA member when they are in agony, especially if they are suffering from an emotional disorder you might not be able to completely comprehend! Those of us who haven't suffered from Cancer can't possible get a feel for how bad those patients are hurting. But we choose to still there for them simply because it is enough to know that are in pain.

The same holds true with problems of an emotional nature. After all, the brain is just as much an organ as the lungs, liver, heart or kidneys!

Written \ Submitted by :

gsryoga

 

Comments (2)

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How true!
written by Jonathan, Mayıs 31, 2010

I, too, have struggled with emotional and mental issues in recovery. At 13 yrs. clean, I finally became willing to follow doctors' suggestions and take prescribed medication for depression, in spite of certain NA members' opinion on the subject. Frankly, it did more for my condition than all the years of therapy I'd had previously, both before and during recovery.
Then I was diagnosed with ADHD at 43, when I was about to lose my job due to inability to focus and complete tasks. I didn't enjoy the meds I was given for ADHD, but with very small doses AS PRESCRIBED I was able to keep my job, and move on to more challenging and better-paying positions.
For me, it has become very important to share my experience, strength and hope IN A GENERAL WAY at meeting level, and get more specific only with trusted friends or people in similar situations to my own. I do not accept medical advice from NA members unless they have an MD after their name, although I have benefited greatly from trusted, discreet NA members' shared experience and suggestions.
Now in my mid-fifties with 26 years clean, I am dealing with OCD in the form of hoarding. I suspect I've always had this condition, but since I never stayed in one place very long and wasn't able to hang on to my possessions, it has only become a problem recently. Since their doesn't seem to be any medication that helps me much, I'm doing a 4th step on it (again) but i suspect that it is more an issue of brain chemistry than a character defect as such. I may just have to practice acceptance and manage it as best I can.
Certain members of NA have helped me to identify and accept myself as a person with mental illness(es) who is nonetheless, a responsible, productive member of society and a valued member of our fellowship, and I thank my Higher Power for sending them my way and steering me clear of the more closed-minded, judgemental people, who may also be valued NA members in spite of their character defects. We all have'em, and the miracle is that we're all recovering in spite of 'em.

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written by Freebird, Ağustos 28, 2010

I also have had many issues before and after coming through the doors of NA but wonderfully I was welcomed with love and hugs.. If your ever in my neck of the woods Please look me up and we'll go to some meetings.. Best of luck in your Recovery and your health.. Peace n Love. and lots of hugsss

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