Lunes 01 de Marzo de 2010 20:57
My name is Kristy B and I am a grateful recovering addict. Id like to share a story in celebration of my 5 years Clean time. I have learned to use many tools in this program and I have gained many things. I've been blessed with the ability to mother my children, hold down a job, keep up a mortgage, be a good friend and listener among many other things, I could go on all day with the many gifts of recovery I have received but we have all heard this rant before and we all have our own gratitude lists. What I would like to share is the amazing power conventions have over our hearts and healing. I was fortunate enough to attend the WCNA33 in Barcelona Spain, and if it wasn't overwhelming enough, my higher power thought I needed a reminder that though, I am one among many I am just as important as all. With literally thousands of people around me I could not help but feel this phenomenal sense of comfort and understanding surrounding me everywhere I went. Strangely even amongst strangers I have never felt so safe. Not that I can call my brothers and sisters, strangers really. But you get the idea. On the last day of the convention my heart was so full, I couldn't help but cry as the room closed together in the biggest circle of addicts I have ever seen. Holding hands with only 2, you could feel the power of the hundreds in the room transfer through. Like nothing Ive ever experienced before. i left the convention center with tears of overwhelming joy and a connection to the fellowship stronger than I had imagined possible. I went across the street to the Mall to get a bite to eat and felt as if I was floating. I remember thanking my higher power for this opportunity and thinking i will pray and thank him again many more times, besides, there are so many of us here, he wont hear my thanks now anyways. I walked around the mall for a while trying to decide what to eat, and window shopping a bit, it was hard to concentrate on anything, really, I was just in such a state of euphoria. After an hour or so I found a place to eat, As I approached the counter to order my food, I reached into my purse to find that my wallet was no longer there. My worst fear! My heart sunk and my stomach started turning. My joy instantly turned into fear... This was the worst thing that could happen. I was alone in a foriegn country with no way to get home, and on the last day! The people around me could see I was frantic and a pair from Ireland (that were also sporting convention name tags) offered to buy my lunch and help me look for my wallet... I couldn't eat, i couldn't even think. We back tracked through the mall and couldn't find it anywhere, it could've been stolen, or I could've left it on a counter somewhere... i really couldn't even remember where i had been. I just knew I had to go back to the convention center... I had to be held by the fellowship. By this time I was a frightened wreck. I was crying and beginning to panic. How was I going to get home to my family, my passport, my money and all my other ID was in that wallet. As i walked towards the entrance of the convention center, several people stopped me to find out what was wrong, one lady just came over and held me tight, saying it didn't matter whatever was wrong will work out, just stay here and be held and have faith (these words will stay with me forever). I started to feel like things would be okay. Others, told me we would find a way to get me home, and not to worry. I started to feel hopeful. I prayed and asked my higher power to take care of me and wondered if he could hear me again through all these people, just then I realized he already was taking care of me, all I had to do was look around, the fellowship once again had caught me and cradled me and made me feel home, even in a far off land across the ocean. Finally someone said, lets just go inside and ask at the desk, maybe someone has turned it in. I went up to counter, and asked if someone had turned in a black wallet... there were people beside me holding my hand and rubbing my shoulders, telling me it will be all right. The man behind the counter could see how desperate I was and turned to grab a sealed plastic shipping envelope, then said the words I was dying to hear, he asked, are you Kristy B? From Fort Frances Ontario? I have never dropped so quickly, in a split second I was on my knees saying, Thank you God! When I stood up to take reclaim my wallet, there were not only tears on my cheeks but everyone there was crying too. It was amazing. That connection! I have never cried tears of gratitude as much as I did in that one day. I walked around for the rest of the day floating even more and still crying for hours. I don't know who turned my wallet in but thank you to whoever it was, or where it was found, only that God meant for me to lose it and I guess I still have lessons to learn. That day God wanted me to know that he was not just present but that he was there with me, and all I ever have to do when things look hopeless is just be there and allow the fellowship to hold me and have faith.
PS. It's nice to finally have a computer, now I can connect with so many other addicts and hear of their experience strength and hope as well as share mine. Just another thing to add to my gratitude list.
Love, Kristy B. from Fort Frances, ON
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